Dealing with grief or a loss in one's life can be an incredible challenge because of the various ways it can manifest in our lives: It can come out of nowhere like an earthquake: without warning you are emotionally staggered, or even knocked down, overwhelmed by shock and numbness such as the case of an untimely death of someone close to you. Or you can see the loss coming in the form of a career changing layoff. You can try to brace yourself like preparing for an oncoming hurricane, but when it hits, you are still overwhelmed by pain and fatigue. Just when you think the storm has passed it turns out to only be the false promise of the hurricane's eye passing overhead as the sense of loss returns and weighs you down. Grief can also creep into your life like a toxic mold behind the walls of your home such as a chronic illness that slowly chokes the life out of you. Often we don't recognize a loss in our lives before it has already eroded our functioning through a lingering sadness or emptiness that won't go away.
Complicating things further are factors that are unique to each individual that can have an enormous impact on how well you cope with the loss, such as:
- How sudden and unexpected the loss is.
- Multiple losses around the same time.
- Your level of attachment to who or what you have lost.
- Society's reaction to your loss (disgust, disapproval, ignoring).
- Your previous experiences dealing with loss.
- The level of support and guidance to aid you during the process.
- How burdened you are organizing a response such as a funeral that gets in the way of your own grieving.
- Your ability to cope with intense emotional experiences.
Some signs of getting stuck in the grieving process are.
- You or a loved one are still in denying or minimizing the impact of the loss.
- The intensity of your grief is making it hard to function weeks after the event occurred.
- You are functioning but the pain does not seem to diminish with the passage of time.
- Your grief has resurfaced previous losses that still seem raw and unresolved.
- Your emotional reaction to the loss seems to be oddly absent or minimal.
- Reminders of the loss seem to knock you back to square one.
- You don't know how to adjust to the 'holes' in your life caused by the loss
As a specialist in helping people cope more effectively with grief, whethe the loss of a loved one, pets, careers, health, dreams, etc. I would love to help you through your journey to not just survive by thrive.
Please call/text me at 949-751-7590, or email me at [email protected]